nut hugger
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
