No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
