She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
