nut hugger
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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