so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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