so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize