i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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