Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
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its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
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And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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