You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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