Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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