I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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