i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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