ya dads aren't the best wingmen
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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