Define "chronic" masturbator.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i came on her dog
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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