Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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