Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
