By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
