Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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