I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
