I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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