can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
