ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Pants are for mortals
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