im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
