Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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