Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
