My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
