Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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