We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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