OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
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