Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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