Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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