I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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