One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory