i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it