I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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