The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
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A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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