i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on