turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.