What should our trivia night team be named?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?