Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Randomize
