We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
