I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize