Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize