you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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