I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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