Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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