From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All the doctor said was why
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize