i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
