chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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