:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Come share oat with me in your robe
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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