Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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