I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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