it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
